Women Heading South....For Sea, Sex and Sand.

Planning the holiday took them close to six months and they are all reeeeaaally looking forward it; much more than the coming summer vacations.

If by any chance you haven't the slightest idea what 'heading south' means (I doubt it though, given the title of this hub), then you most definitely have not watched the 2005 movie "Heading South", by film director Laurent Cantet, which is based a book that was written by Dany Laferrière.

The main actresses and actor in the movie are Charlotte Rampling, Karen Young, Louise Portal and Ménothy César. It's an insightful piece, that is set in mid-seventies Haiti and is basically a depiction of the holiday experiences of three women, who travel to Haiti for sea side vacations that primarily involve having sex with young Haitian men.

If you would like to catch a glimpse of the film, I've uploaded its trailer just below...

Unlike Charlotte Rampling and company, they are not going to Haiti. They are heading to a place called Diani, a coastal region situated in Kenya's (Mombasa) south coast. The region is known for its byuuu-ti-fuuu-l never-ending stretches of white sandy beaches, palm trees, coconut milk, delicious fresh seafood, its wide range of accommodation facilities, including four to five star hotels, and of course the good looking dark skinned men (or if you prefer 'black' skinned- take your pick), whose availability is as certain as the region's sublime weather conditions.

Ooooh, how I wish I could join them! Oh yes, I do! But well, I'm not at that point in life where I can allow myself the luxury of going away on holidays more than once a year, as the four of them can. Perhaps in a few years, when I'll have laboured hard and long enough, cold winters ( which are not my cup of hot chocolate) will be a thing of the past for me...

And hey, loo-seee-n up! When I say I wish I could join them, I mean for everything but the men and the sex (Awww...I could almost taste your disappointment or was it relief?). Anyway, yeah, that's just not my thing. What I love, aside from my four women friends' great company, is that particular coastal region, where I always feel totally at home, as well as the idea of being in a terribly hot place, when it's 'horrible winter' here.

If by any chance you are wondering what my take is on the fact that my four friends engage or are going to engage in female sex tourism, then here's my response: I have none. What I'm sure of though, is that I do not judge them for travelling 6,400 kilometres, to engage in seventeen days of sex, sun and sight seeing, in the company of seemingly happy go lucky young Kenyan men .

I mean, what do I know about the life of a woman who got pregnant at fifteen, married at seventeen, was widowed at forty-six and struggled with serious (over) weight and depression issues for years? What do I know about the life of a forty-seven year old woman, who was a stay-at-home wife and mother for twenty seven years, during which her husband flirted, flung and laid half the women in his company, including her closest friend? And who am I to judge the choices of a forty-four year old woman whose professional success, financial independence and assertiveness (among others), has men (that she might wish to date), fleeing for their lives or for younger, less successful and more malleable women? Should I be the one to spew fire and brimstone at my thirty-six year old friend, for whom the family way is simply not an option and who just prefers having open-ended relationships on two continents?

All four of them have had different experiences and have had different (long term and short term) relationships with their husbands or men in France, through which they are now best suited to know what would or would not be a source of happiness for them. The former two women -let's name them Chrystelle and Blandine-for example, married young and spent years in long term monotonous, one-sided monogamous marriages. Christelle (who often pokes fun at herself) describes her marital sex life as "in-existent". She was married to a guy who believed in a 19th century division of gender roles; had three stair-spaced children to care for; clung to her low paying dead-end job; had a body that did not (and still does not) conform to the bodily prescriptions in French women's magazines and TV commercials... All that being enough to induce a low self esteem and bouts of depression over the years.

For Blandine sex with her husband was initially so-so, but over the years (she almost always sounds as if she is bragging) it became "formidable!". At her husband's initiative, they tried out new stuff in bed. The only problem for her was that in later years, he became hyper adventurous in the sack and in the kichen ;-) , and sex with her him became a means through which she got to confirm suspicions she harboured about him shagging another woman elsewhere. So now that they are widowed and going through a divorce respectively, who am I to pour a bucket of water over their Diani Bonfires?

On the other hand, there are also the young Kenyan men with whom they spend their time and have sex with. One could say these guys are relatively poor, and being with the women earns them a couple of meals, transportation, visits and trips...So yeah, there are undoubtedly some imbalances in the relationships...

With all that said, I would definitely not mind having you serve up your thoughts on this kind of holiday relationships, between light skinned women (or is it Whites? ;-) from wealthier countries and dark skinned men ( alternatively known as Blacks;-) ) from less wealthy countries.